Paintings & Poetry

 I painted a couple more pictures today. The first one started because I remembered a few years ago writing poems and lyrics about being between heaven and hell, or something to that affect. The original plan for the painting was going to have flames on the one side, and something more serene on the other side. But, I got as far as is shown below and decided to stop (for now at least). Below the painting is the words to the songs/poems which were the original inspiration for the painting (even though the painting decided to take on a new meaning/life).

Walking the Line
(2003)
walking the line between heaven and hell,
wanting you so, but too scared to tell;
dreaming these dreams, living these lies;
wishing I could tell you how my soul flies;
needing to thank you for making me smile;
wanting to please you if only for a while
walking the line between heaven and hell,
wishing these wishes, but I'll never tell;
cuz I'm walking the line between heaven and hell;

I'm walking the line, teetering on the edge;
as to myself, vows of love I pledge;
walking the line, trembling inside,
knowing this love is something I have to hide;

I'm walking the line, with no safety net,
wishing your smile I could simply forget;
walking the line between heaven and hell;
oh how I need you, but I can never tell

walking the line between heaven and hell,
in my dreams you'll always dwell;
the touch of your hand, the sparkle in your eyes;
I'm always so happy living these lies;
what do I do, where do I turn,
I can't just tell you how you make me burn;
I don't know where to go, so I keep walking the line;
looking in your eyes, waiting for a sign

Heaven and Hell
(7/16/2005)
Heaven's fire and hell's sweet grace
Pain exploding as dreams erase
Nighttime whispers of daylight's tears
Come and live within my fears

Heaven's torture and hell's sweet light
Let go of love without a fight
Feel the daytime hide from the dark
Knowing it can never be the spark

Heaven's pain and hell's sweet peace
And satan signs another lease
Feel the light crawl into the shadow
Come be mine in this darkened glow

LIVIN’ IN YOUR HEAVEN
(1/17/04)

I'm livin in your heaven,
You're livin in my hell
Can't you see I'm burnin
More than words can tell
And I can see you glowin
My soul is all I had to sell
Yet I rose up to heaven
The day my angel fell

I just gotta ask you
What happened to your wings?
Where is the innocent song
That your heart softly sings?

And I just gotta ask you
Was it because of me?
When heaven collided with hell
Was it as you thought it would be?

Did I turn my sweet angel
Into a blood-crazed demon?
Was bringing me to the clouds
Just something to do for fun?

Cuz I'm livin in your heaven,
You're livin in my hell
Can't you see I'm burnin
More than words can tell
And I can see you glowin
My soul is all I had to sell
Yet I rose up to heaven
The day my angel fell

Can you feel me burning?
Can you feel me turn to stone?
Until you brought me to heaven's gate,
I had never heard an angel moan.

And I just gotta ask you
Did it hurt when you fell?
Can you still feel the bruises
When heaven collided with hell?

Cuz I'm livin in your heaven,
You're livin in my hell
Can't you see I'm burnin
More than words can tell
And I can see you glowin
My soul is all I had to sell
Yet I rose up to heaven
The day my angel fell

I can still hear your screams,
(Can you still feel my heat?)
I can still feel your dreams
(But do you still feel complete?)

Cuz I'm living in your heaven
(Won't you let me take you to hell)
Can't you see I'm burnin
(I need you more then words can tell)
And I can see you glowing
(My body is all I have to sell)
Oh baby I rose to heaven
(You made heaven collide with hell)

And I turned my sweet angel
Into a blood-crazed demon
Bringing me to the clouds
Was just something to do for fun.

Cuz I'm livin in your heaven,
You're livin in my hell
Can't you see I'm burnin
More than words can tell
And I can see you glowin
My soul is all I had to sell
Yet I rose up to heaven
The day my angel fell

Cuz I'm livin in your heaven,
You're livin in my hell

I'm livin in your heaven,
Heaven collided with hell

I'm livin in your heaven,
You're livin in my hell

I'm livin in your heaven,
Heaven collided with hell

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The other painting I did tonight...

Earlier, my husband came and sat on the bed beside me where I was listening to London After Midnight music and reading the lyrics to some of their songs. He asked if I was trying to get some inspiration, to which I said yes. So he suggested I do a painting of "Drip Drip Drip." Drip was a poem I wrote before he and I met... shortly before my 18th birthday... and was one of two poems written originally in my own blood (yes, I was a bit emo/psycho back then). So of course I joked that I'd have to do the painting in blood... and he suggested I drain a little of my blood into a cup...

But moving along, I did create the painting... and no, I did not use real blood. Here is the painting and the original inspirational poem...

Drip
(10/17/92)

Drip.  Drip.  Drip.
Red.  Black.  Red.
        Silver on Flesh.
Drip.
        Drip.
                Drip.
Sea of Red.
Black sea of Red.
        Silver on Flesh.
Slipping.
              Slitting.
                          Slicing.
No.  No.  Yes.
Yes.  No.  Yes.
Red, Red, Red.
Black.
Silver.
Black and Silver.
         Silver on Flesh.
Red from Flesh.
Flesh from Red.
Red.
       Black;
                 Silver,
                           Flesh?
Drip.  Drip.  Drip.
Black sea.
Red sea.
Red love.
       Black heart.
       Red heart.
Black hate.