Sunday, December 5, 2010

move on...

The past rarely ever turns out how we thought it would. No matter where we are now, no matter how happy or unhappy we are, no matter what dreams we've found or haven't found...the past is never what we wanted at that time.

In high school, we were either the unpopular seeking popularity, or we were the popular one wishing we didn't have to do some of the stupid things we did. In both high school and college, we were always chasing after that one person we never could get. Or, if we did get lucky enough to get, it didn't turn out how we wanted it.

We always felt we could be more, love more, dream more. But it never happened. Or if it did, it was never the way it should have been.

So, years down the road, when faced with those memories again - when smacked across the face with the dreams of a child - we find ourselves slipping into the same state of mind. We find ourselves just as helpless and hopeless as we were many years before. Certain people or situations trigger this. And the more people or situations that remind us of this time, the more we slip back in time, so much so we cannot control the out of control emotions raging through us.

We could just erase these people and situations. This would solve the problem. Yet, we find ourselves unable to take that step. Our finger rests on the delete button, knowing we'd be deleting all the problems and dark thoughts. Yet we cannot do it. We cannot erase those negative times. We survive off those negative thoughts. They are what made us who we are, and continue to make us who you see before us today.

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