Sunday, January 13, 2013

Sex on the Brain

My morning seems to be filled with little mentions and quotes on sex (sadly, just mentions and quotes). So, this has me thinking on the subject. And, my thoughts are bouncing every which way (just as the context in which sex has been seen and heard this morning). 

"You can't ruin a friendship with sex. That's like trying to ruin ice cream with chocolate sprinkles." (Raj; The Big Bang Theory)

How many of us have turned someone down because "I don't want to ruin our friendship"? I've done it. And I've heard the classic response of "yeah, it's much better to sleep with an enemy" which is always delivered with a good amount of sarcasm.

I have two thoughts on this overused "I don't want to ruin our friendship" comment. First - sometimes it is indeed said because well, quite frankly, there is just no physical attraction. And second - sometimes it is said because we really don't want to ruin a friendship. If the relationship fails (the one created when sex is introduced), then quite often the friendship dies as well. If I love someone dearly as a friend, relying on that friendship, enjoying it... why would I want to risk the possibility of ruining it? Of course, in thinking this way, we've already come to the conclusion that the relationship is going to fail.

Moving on...

I was reading one of those stupid celebrity magazines this morning, and they were talking about how some star was out at a resort. This isn't a direct quote (getting a direct quote would require me getting off my ass, and finding the magazine/article again), but essentially, they were talking about how instead of drinking, this star was engaging in a much healthier means of dealing with her stress - she was having sex with multiple men half her age....



Ok, granted, drinking to excess is not healthy. Drinking in any capacity may not be healthy. And using it as a means of escaping stress/life is definitely not good. But sex?

Using sex to escape your problems is something that is done quite often, and can lead to sex addiction. Granted, it doesn't hold some of the same dangers (i.e. you can screw someone's brains out, then get behind the wheel without too much concern of an accident), but it can still be dangerous (i.e. never have sex while driving). And, having multiple partners increases the dangers posed by sex.

I find it rather disconcerting that we're so accepting of sex. We brush it off as if it's just some casual activity. Having multiple partners, making out with several guys, quickies at parties, extramarital affairs, sex without love - these are all common occurrences within our society, and treated with as much care and concern as going shopping, or walking the dog, or having a cup of coffee.

Maybe I'm old fashioned (or, just old), but sex is something that should be given after love. It shouldn't be a means to attract someone, or keep someone. It shouldn't be used as a means of overcoming boredom or low self-esteem. It shouldn't be used as pain relief or self injury.

With how nonchalant people are towards sex, I'm surprised anyone gets hit with the "you're too good a friend" line anymore. But those who do - you're probably the lucky ones.

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