Tuesday, June 30, 2015

Meaning and Rules of Friendship

All I ask for, and all I have ever wanted, are friends who support me and stand beside me, even if they don't always agree with me. And, of course, a little respect. So, here are some of the things that I have noticed I look for in a truly trusted friend:

A true friend recognizes and accepts that I can have more than one true friend.

A true friend supports and stands beside me, even when they don't agree with me.

A true friend believes in me, and encourages me to be the best I can be, and better.

A true friend knows that just because I grow and change does not mean that I am going to outgrow the friendship.

A true friend accepts that I cannot and will not, and honestly do not want to, spend every minute with them. Or even every day. Sometimes every week. They recognize that I am not a people person, and while I love their company, I need a great deal of me time. 

A true friend accepts me as I am and does not try to change me.

And, since I put what a friend is to me, allow me to do the flip side. Allow me to give a few "rules"... things which, if not followed, will quickly make me stop trusting you as a friend:

1) You do NOT tell me who to trust. I am perfectly capable of making these decisions by myself, and if I make a mistake it is mine to make.

2) You do NOT criticize or belittle a friend of mine in an attempt to get me to dislike this friend. And you definitely do NOT do this belittling to my kids to get THEM to also dislike the person.

3) You do NOT tell me I am not capable of doing something, or that I should not be doing something (unless of course I am doing something that will actually physically harm me). I am an adult and again, perfectly capable of making my own decisions.

4) You do NOT insult my belief in God, or my desire to serve Him, or the ways in which I choose to serve Him. I have never told any of my friends/family what to believe (or how to serve), and I deserve the same respect.

5) You do NOT try to manipulate me. Anything that comes across as "if you really loved me you'd do this" is going to make me immediately do the complete opposite of what you want.

Thank you, and good night.

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