Defense Mechanisms

The other day I was having a conversation with someone, and this person pointed out my tendency to deflect when a conversation gets to a serious topic, or a topic I just don't want to discuss/deal with, or when a topic is one that can/will cause me pain. I actually found this somewhat unexpected... first, because while I know I do tend to use defense mechanisms, that is one I never realized I do use; and second, that someone recognized this in me.

So, I decided to look up different defense mechanisms and think about which ones actually apply to me. These, and the definitions, all come from http://en.wikibooks.org/wiki/Stress-related_Disorders/Defenses (all in bold are basically direct quotes from this site):

Repression/suppression: One way to deal with emotional pain is to not think about what has happened.

Basically, this just means the problem gets ignored/pushed to the back of someone's mind. I did this a lot with what I went through as a child. I barely recall the sexual molestation, and can only remember some of the physical abuse.

Displacement: Displacement is simply taking an emotion that belongs in one situation and displaying it in another.

I think everyone does this to some degree - someone pisses you off, but you can't yell at that person because of consequences, so you take your anger out on other people (i.e. family). I try NOT to do this, but it's an easy one for people to do.

Projection: Projection is the process of taking feelings we have about ourselves (usually painful feelings) and focusing them on other people.

While I don't think I do this, it is possible I have in the past. I just know it isn't a common defense mechanism of mine.

Denial: Denial is the refusal to believe or accept the reality that certain events have happened (are happening) or will happen. Co-Relation: Related to denial is the defense called minimizing.

Minimizing: Events are accepted, but only in a watered down version. Example: Sure I drink once in a while. Everybody does. It's no big deal. Once in a while I might get carried away, but it really isn't a problem.

I don't think I use either of these (denial or minimizing). If anything, I might tend to minimize what is going on. But again, not a common one.

Withdrawal: Withdrawal is usually used when a person is afraid of rejection or afraid to fail."

Hmmm, yeah, I've used this one a lot, and still do.

Co-Relation: Closely related to withdrawal are: Avoidance and Deflection

Avoidance: 

This is as the name suggests - one will avoid speaking about a problem or being around people  I might be guilty of this one, too.

Deflection: Deflection is a method of changing a subject that is or might be painful.

This is the one that has recently been brought to my attention, and it was said that it is humor I usually use as my method. For example, if someone brings up a sensitive subject, I will make a joke to lighten the mood, change the subject, or otherwise just move along.

Rationalization: Rationalization is to justify your behavior or to make excuses for your behavior.

Yeah, I have to confess to this one also. I'm always making excuses for being stupid.... just generally, the excuses are dumber than the stupid thing I did in the first place. 

Fantasy: When the world of everyday life becomes too painful or difficult too bear, some people turn to the inner world of fantasy.

This one is probably the one I use most often, although not as much any more. As a kid/teenager, I lived in a fantasy world whenever possible. I remember doing this while being molested as well as a way of blocking out what was happening. It's still a very easy thing to slip into.

Intellectualization: In order to avoid experiencing his real feelings a person may discuss his problem(s) in an analytical, rational, intellectual way.

This one I am also guilty of. Usually, whenever I talk about some of the things I've gone through, I do so very analytically. I don't allow emotion to play into the description at all, or explain my feelings. There are only a few people who've heard me describe these events without using this technique. I never realized it was a defense mechanism before.

Procrastination: Procrastination is another way to avoid painful feelings by convincing yourself that a problem can be dealt with later.

Yup... not a common mechanism of mine when it comes to dealing with painful feelings (rarely use this one), I am a procrastinator. For example... I really do need to make that phone call, but don't want to deal with it.

Reaction-formation: This defense is simply faking your feelings or expressing the opposite of what you really feel.

And, another yup. Been there, done that, and still do occasionally.

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Ok so if I counted right, I use/have used 7 of these fairly often. The rest I either don't use, or rarely use. Hmm... not sure what that says about me :/