Saturday, June 18, 2011

Worst spouse

I'm angry... pissed... annoyed... want to cause screams and suffering. Why are people so fucking concerned with other people's lives? And why do they feel the need to talk shit about others?

I am apparently the worst spouse in this town. This isn't because of cheating, or abuse, or any of the things which would normally put someone into the category of bad spouse. I don't talk bad about him (or, no more so than any other wife). I don't spend all his money, or make him do things he doesn't want to do.

Nope... what I did is so much worse than all of these. I didn't go along to the hospital when he had his kidney transplant. My God, I'm evil.

And, before you all agree with that, allow me to explain the scenario and the options available to me...

Thursday at 1pm, we get a call. They have a kidney which may be compatible for my husband. I rush home, help him pack, try to keep the kids and him as calm as reasonably possible. We know that he has to go 2 hours away for the testing and the surgery. We know the testing will take a few hours (at this time we only expected 4 hours after taking the test... but it ended up being over 10 hours from the time he took the test - 12 hours after leaving here - before it was even determined a surgery would be needed).

So, my options included:

1) Leave my crying, scared, completely lost/hurt/frightened/scared children at home and go with my husband;

2) Take my young energetic, stressed out children with me to the hospital to sit all night (note: it was 3am before the decision for surgery was even made... 8am when the surgery started...)

3) Stay home, let his mother stay with him, and pray that things went ok with the surgery.

I chose option 3. And this is what has made me a horrible wife, and horrible person, and apparently the talk of the town.

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