Slipping

I'm slipping. Every time I think I've reached the bottom, I slip just a bit more. There's no light anymore, no shadows, nothing. Darkness surrounds everything, everyone, not that anything or anyone exists. I try to scream, but no sound escapes. Not even a whimper, or moan, or whisper. I try to pray, but there is no God to hear my silent plea.

Perhaps no sound or prayer is released for a reason. Perhaps it is true, as I have always known but tried to deny. I don't deserve release from the darkness. I was born here, raised here. It is as much a part of me as I am of it, and I do not deserve anything more or brighter. Perhaps this is why I cannot ask for release.

Why does no one offer to lift me up? Why does no one notice this darkness I live in? Perhaps it is true that the darkness does not surround me, but is within me. It is me. And these people recognize that I am not worthy of the time or energy or salvation. I have sold my soul to the other side, and now continue to suffer for this exchange. I continue to slip into nothingness.