blah blah whatever

I'm bored.

Or, perhaps it would be better to say that I am sick and tired of being stuck laying around in bed with nothing to do but puke my guts out. I am pleased to announce, however, that I am done with the vomiting (I hope). That was the absolute worst flu (or whatever the hell was wrong with me) I have ever had (that I recall). Two days of being unable to keep anything down, and another day of struggling to do so is not fun.

But now that it's over? Or, I assume it is over since I have now managed to keep down some peanut butter toast and small bowl of oatmeal? I don't have the energy to walk from here to the kitchen (a whole 6 feet away approximately). The dining room table is even a stain, and that is right on the other side of my bedroom door.

So, I'm stuck here.

Normally, I would have homework to do. But, alas (and thank God) the quarter is over, I'm on a two week break. This was the worst quarter I have had to date. And sadly, it was mainly just once class that made it horrible. Well, there was a second one which I struggled with (E-Commerce); and there were two I absolutely enjoyed (Sociology and Windows Server 2008). But that fourth one. Leave it to one person to kill a person's love for Astronomy. But, I pulled off a 94% for a final grade (so long as the instructor doesn't see my evaluation of him before the grades are finalized), and it's over now. So, I can enjoy my break.

Or, I would enjoy it, if I had the energy.

Maybe I will just go take a shower (which will probably turn into a bath since I probably can't stay standing for more than 3 minutes) then head off to bed... which is to say, go to sleep since I have been in bed for the better part of 3 days. Thankfully I get to go to work tomorrow. Hopefully, I should say. I could use someone to talk to other than myself. Although, now that I think about it, I do a lot of talking to myself at work also.

Next quarter's Psychology class could end up being rather enlightening for me.

drained and discarded

I'm sitting here, uncertain of quite how I feel. I had a great weekend this past weekend. I got to see family I haven't seen in years, had the opportunity to hang out and enjoy the company of my wonderful sisters, and even my brother (whom I haven't seen in years). Granted, it was for a funeral we all got together, but, well, my Grandma was a wonderful, beautiful, giving woman - and it seems she gave us one last thing - a chance to get reacquainted with loved ones.

Yet, I'm still sitting here, uncertain how to feel. I'm overcome by a combination of love and depression, relief and release, closure and even a bit of anger and a lot of guilt. So much of so many different things all rattling around within my mind and heart. I'm almost to the point of being numb as there is too much for me to handle.

A third party would have been nice to bounce things off of. But, I guess everyone has their own problems. Mine are no more important, and are probably quite simply more confusing as I don't even know what my problem is.

But, alas, I shall quit my rambling for now as I can't focus my thoughts on any one thing, on any one person or event or anything else. Perhaps I shall try again should I regain any type of clarity to my own mind.